Indecisive

WordPress isn’t as wonderful as I thought it would be & I really miss the simple things. Some color & update information for other people’s blogs is practically a necessity, so I’m going back to my old blogspot blog. See you there!

www.shansjourneyonward.blogspot.com

Callings

So we got callings in our new ward this week. The Bishop’s first & second counselors came by to talk to Dave & I a few nights ago. We knew they had callings lined up for us (probably before we were ever officially in the ward, even! LOL) & had been speculating for the past week on what we thought they’d be.

Dave was right on in his guess & I was very close. I was hoping they’d call me to be the new Sunbeam teacher, so I wouldn’t have to worry about Logan. For now, that was not to be. I did tell the counselors what I observed in the class that was concerning to me & came right out & said I had been hoping to be called to teach in that class, but gladly accepted the calling they offered.

They asked Dave to be a ward missionary (no surprise there) & they called me to the Nursery. Dave’s been a ward missionary in the past, even serving as the ward mission leader for a while, & I’ve been in the Nursery for a while. I’m hoping Dave grows to love his calling as much as I’ve grown to love the Nursery. I’m actually excited to be back in there. I think I’m going to need to move Hayleah to the other nursery though. I want to encourage this independent streak she has going on & steer clear of the uber-attached, I-can’t-leave-you-alone-or-let-you-out-of-my-sight-for-a-minute, way of being they boys have embodied.

I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with Logan yet. He won’t go to his class without me. In this case, I can’t say I blame him. The teacher’s personality & demands just would not fly with him. To be honest, they don’t fly with me. I’m pretty sure this guy won’t be the Sunbeam teacher much longer though. I really hope they find someone good with little kids so Logan can start to adjust to this change.

We shall see!

Yaya & her babies

My mother-in-law, Vickie, is in town right now. The kids call her Yaya &, after the first week, I’m beginning to wonder if the novelty of having her here is going to ever wear off. They are constantly excited to see her, or anxiously asking where she is. She has taken them on a walk every day for the past 3 days & they’ve been gone at least 2 hours each time. This has been so nice! They get out (& I get a break from being pulled in every direction) for a while.

So far it’s been a very nice visit. We’re celebrating Easter week & following the book A Christ Centered Easter,which has been fun. We’re going to do a Passover feast tonight, old-style. We’ll be eating some of the foods Christ ate & doing so on the floor with no utensils. This ought to be fun! LOL We’ve loosely followed the book in years past, but I really want the kids to think of Easter as something more than just chocolate bunnies & egg hunts so we’re trying some new things this year.

Hopefully I’ll remember to take some pics with my (still) semi-broken camera, so I can post them here. Lately, I forget about my camera often but am trying to do better since Vickie’s in town. We’ll see how that goes…

Facebook….ahhh, Facebook

How do I love thee…..

It’s addicting, to say the least. All that flair to check out, for one! I haven’t had much computer time lately, but whenever I want to spend some mind-numbing, where-did-the-time-go, hours doing a lot of nothing, Facebook is my pick!

I’ve connected with a lot of old classmates, which is kind of cool. It’s nice to see what everyone’s doing now-a-days. Except for that ex-boyfriend (whom I still don’t have fond feelings for) that found me & wanted to be my “friend”, it’s pretty cool!

The best part about it is finding family on there, though. I have lots & lots of family I’ve never met. Many of them my age. Heck, I lived a block away from a cousin & didn’t know it for a long time. I had another cousin who I’d known for about a year, & looked to for advice more than once, before I found out we were related!

We grew up pretty far away from all extended family, seeing only a few of them very infrequently. When I was 9 we moved to Kansas & almost never saw any of my Dad’s family after that. My maternal Grandma followed us wherever we moved, which was always nice, but everyone else stayed out in the western states.

Anyhow, back to my original thought….

Facebook is fun, but I’m thrilled to be able to find people on there I never knew before.

That is all.

Do you ever feel you’ve said too much?

My insecurities have been on the rise today. I’m a pretty reserved person. At least towards strangers anyway. Today, more than once, I was in a room full of strangers. Quiet strangers. It was our second week in the new ward & my first week attending Sunday School & Relief Society. It was Fast Sunday, so I got up & briefly introduced myself & bore my testimony. I found myself sharing things I would normally never share with strangers, in my efforts to try to break out of my shell.

I tend to be more of an observer than a participant in a lot of things in life. I don’t get many experiences that leave lasting impressions this way & I want to try to make some new friends before the typical first year of required distance is imposed. Okay so it’s not really a year…it just feels like one….& it’s not something I try to do. It just is. I have a hard time letting my guard down with people. I always have. I have a hard time speaking up in a group setting. This has been the norm for me, as well.

Today, however, I sat in class with the most reserved group of people I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if the majority of them had nothing to add today or if they didn’t have the answers to any of the questions posed to the group, or if this is just typical for them. At times the silence bordered uncomfortable, so me, trying to be my real self (somewhat talkative with a lot of seemingly useless, nevertheless interesting {to me} tidbits of info I’ve garnered over the years) spoke up way too often. I don’t want to feel like the kid that has all the answers (correct or not), but it’s hard for me to pass up on a question when no one else is giving their 2 cents. And the silence in Relief Society, after the lesson had been given & we were given some time to bare our testimonies…..it was borderline painful, how utterly silent this room was. I rarely spend any time somewhere it’s completely quiet, so the silence of this room was quite a shock to the senses!

To sum it up, the day was just awkward. My negative self-conscience didn’t rear its ugly head (at least not too badly) until I got home &  had a chance to think about the days events & do a mental rerun of the things that came out of my mouth. Don’t mistake me….everyone was very warm & welcoming. I realize this was pretty much just me being a nerd & I wound up showing my inner-nerd too soon & then being afraid of giving the wrong impression (I’m so not a know-it-all….I really don’t know it all but, like I said, I have some fun little nuggets stored up in my head that sometimes beg to be let loose & I have to reign myself in). It’s hard to step out of comfort zones & for me it’s even harder to allow people to get to know me without first, at least, testing the waters for a while. Feeling them out, you know. The good news is I’ll live. I may have to spend a few uncomfortable Sunday’s with this group of new-friends-to-be (silently telling myself to “shut it” & to “keep it to myself” & “just because you know the answer or have a different spin on it than the common, expected answer doesn’t mean you have to speak up”, lest I thought not cool, but ultimately I’ll remember it’s not 5th grade at the new school & I’ll get past this awkward phase), but that too I can live with.

Overall, I was glad to be able to spend some time with my new ward family. Though I miss the old one A LOT & the comfort that naturally comes with being in one place for 5 years, I was glad to get the chance to put myself out there. Even the discomfort of it all is appreciated. If we never stretch ourselves, how will we ever grow?

A love of music

Recently I’ve become obsessed with the sound of piano music. I’ve always loved the piano but never learned how to play. I would absolutely love for my kids to learn how to play & I still harbor a desire to learn myself. Dave has always been more than hesitant to purchase one, as he’s certain he never wants to move one. I think I’ve come up with the perfect compromise…rental! Now I’m left to the task of finding the right piano with the right company for a really good price (if there is such a thing). We’ll also need to find a piano teacher who’s inexpensive, but I guess I shouldn’t put the cart before the horse. I don’t know if it will actually happen, but I’m really excited at the prospect. How I would love to hear music in our home! Even if no one sounds very good playing it for a while, & sometimes causes me to yell (& maybe pull my hair out) because it’s being played too excitedly by one or two of the little people in our home, I still love the idea of having one.

Addicted to vinyl

We had a few vinyl sayings at our old house, but I’ve recently begun using my 40% off coupons (I have 5 each week….more than I can use….if anyone needs one, let me know) from Michaels very judiciously & have been  purchasing some of my favorite sayings. The one in the entryway that says “As for me & my house we will serve the Lord” was from Stampin’UP!’s small collection of sayings. Otherwise they’re all from Michaels. I was at Kohls today & saw they have lots of the larger-size sayings, from the same maker as the ones in Michaels, on sale.

Here are the ones I’ve been collecting & finally got them all applied today.

 

I’m still working on decorating the kitchen, but finally got this one up today.

My favorite saying right now!

I LOVE this saying!

The little nook just as you enter the front door.

This is above the hall entryway, next to the front door.

 

 

I really shouldn’t have time for this….

I’m avoiding the necessary cleaning I should be hard at work doing today by browsing blogs & enjoying myself. In my stead, I have my slave….er, I mean son, Tyler….doing my work for me. See, he was suspended from school (again) for something really lame & ridiculous (both on his part & the part of the WAY too uptight school Dean), so because of this I get some of my work done for me. I’m kind of enjoying the extra help, though it means he is being punished & I have an extra job reminding him of all the extra jobs he now gets to do. I know I should be ashamed, but I’m not.

There’s one blog in particular that never fails to bring the reader much laughter with each post. It’s a blog that belongs to a man I’ve  met only a few times. I know his wife from a homeschooling group I was once fairly active in. She’s an incredible lady I admire a lot & her husband, the author of said blog, is the bishop of their ward. He also happens to be one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, though at the time we met I didn’t really know just how truly funny he is. Several years ago I got to read a story he’d accounted about the time he was hauled off to jail & it left me wanting more. I’ve since come to find out there’s more…much more.

Though I don’t really know him, I love him for being the eloquent, funny man he is. Here’s a link, should you need a laugh: http://thecraigreport.blogspot.com/

Death to the Wagen & helpful hookers

Ahh….a day in my dear husband’s life is like no other. If there wasn’t a bit of humor in this, I don’t know how much either of us would be laughing. At the least, it makes a great story to tell.

This morning, a mere two days after Dave decided flipping burgers at McDonald’s is not better than selling timeshare, the clutch went out on Dave’s car. It’s an old car & it doesn’t go very fast, so he has to take the back roads to work (which usually adds about double the time on to his commute).

Amidst the angry, hurried morning commuters, Dave had to push his car backwards for about a block, all the while he has people yelling & honking at him. It’s not the best part of town & this particular corner he was stranded at is known for its wealth of women of the night. Lo & behold, there are a few still working in the early morning hours, & they offer to help him push it to the nearest parking lot.

My first though upon hearing this is “Oh, that was so nice of them! Hookers with heart” also something along the lines about how that had a nice ring to it, but I digress…

Once they finally get it to the parking lot, they then ask for payment for their services.

Okay, so my initial conclusions about these women were a bit hasty, it appears. My jaw hit the floor upon hearing this & I struck me as a bit amusing. Only I hadn’t heard the best parts yet.

I’m sure there was a few expletives involved, so I won’t bother trying to quote what happened next. Apparently, once it was determined that Dave had no money, they proceed to tell him he’d better pay them or they’ll call their pimp to come over. Dave, already irritated over the morning’s events, let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they should call their pimp. He really wanted that at the moment.

As it happens, the parking lot they pushed the car in to was that of a motel. He went inside & called me so I could arrange a tow & call the shop & his work, then come get him. Once I made all the necessary arrangements, I took Jo to school & headed over to get him.

While on my way, I get a call from the tow company saying they’re there but they can’t find him anywhere. I know he said he’d wait in the lobby, so I’m not sure what the problem is. I describe what he was wearing (good thing I paid attention today!) & gave them his name & told the guy I’d be there in 10 minutes so he wouldn’t leave.

The driver went back inside the lobby to look for Dave again. Now that he had a pretty accurate description, he was probably pretty confidant he wouldn’t need to wait the 10 minutes for me to show up. After checking out the free breakfast buffet (I’m not saying he ate anything), he returned to his seat in the lobby & the driver, a very tall, very large, very intimidating (at least to me) American Indian man, came up to him wanting to know if he’s the guy that owns the black VW out front.

Dave doesn’t think “tow truck driver” when he see’s this man, dressed in his Dickies. He thinks “pimp”.

It’s at this point during his rendition of the story I can’t keep the laughter in.

After a few scary moments where it looks like this custom, low-to-the-ground “baby” of Dave’s might break in half, or at least have its rear bumper removed while being lifted up on to the bed of the truck, it’s finally at the shop, awaiting its turn to be fixed.

Dave swears he’s done with the car. I can’t say I’m sad. So, if any one’s looking to buy a custom, dark purple in the sunlight, but otherwise black, custom upholstered, really slick but not so fast, 1964 VW Beetle, with a brand new clutch, it will be found on Craigslist shortly.

Off the beaten path

This isn’t the normal family-type update, but it feels pertinent anyway. I’m finishing up Alma right now & was reading about the Stripling Warriors. It got me thinking about the mother’s of these young men. What would it be like to be in their shoes? First off, I have never known the faith these exemplary women must have had, so I find myself struggling to grasp a lot of my imaginings of what they must have gone through during the time their young sons were off fighting for their family’s freedom & the right to live.

How would I deal with such a thing? If my young son was headed off to war, how would I feel? My first instinct would be to panic. My second would probably be to check in to flights to Canada. It’s not pretty, peeking in to my mind sometimes, but it’s the truth. In the not so distant past, I’ve thought about being a conscientious objector & even looked in to what it would take to have my children declared conscientious objectors. I’ve read Alma multiple times but never really got this out of it before.

In conjunction with reading my scriptures, I’m following along with the Book of Mormon Student Manual this time. In so doing, I’m gaining a different view of things I never imagined possible. This quote, in particular, struck me in such a way that I think my opinion of whether or not I would want my sons to join the military later in life has been forever changed.

“To our young men who go into service, no matter whom they serve or where, we say live clean, keep the commandments of the Lord, pray to Him constantly to preserve you in truth and righteousness, live as you pray, and then whatever betides you the Lord will be with you and nothing will happen to you that will not be to the honor and glory of God and to your salvation and exaltation. There will come into your hearts from the living of the pure life you pray for, a joy that will pass your powers of expression or understanding. The Lord will always be near you; He will comfort you; you will feel his presence in the hour of your greatest tribulation; He will guard and protect you to the full extent that accords with His all-wise purpose. Then, when the conflict is over and you return to your homes, having lived the righteous life, how great will be your happiness — whether you be of the victors or of the vanquished — that you have lived as the Lord commanded. You will return so disciplined in righteousness that thereafter all Satan’s wiles and stratagems will leave you untouched. Your faith and testimony will be strong beyond breaking. You will be looked up to and revered as having passed through the fiery furnace of trial and temptation and come forth unharmed. Your brethren will look to you for counsel, support, and guidance. You will be the anchors to which thereafter the youth of Zion will moor their faith in man.”

–The First Presidency

How could I deny my sons (or my daughter, for that matter) these kinds of opportunities? I realize it’s not all in my hands & I really have no control of what they choose to do when they’re grown but, before, if I could have, I would have denied them the opportunity to serve their country. What blessings they would have missed out on, had I kept my stubborn, blind view of the military? I love it when the Spirit speaks to me through the words of a prophet!

Ty has wanted to join the military for some time now. He knows how I feel about it, but I’m excited to share this with him & let him know my change of heart.

And this takes me to hero’s. The word, in general, has become of less value to me than it might have had many years ago. It’s overused, if you ask me & it’s become just that….a word. A true hero is one who will faithfully follow the Lord, no matter how hard it might be, & come out on the other side even stronger than before. A hero is someone who has trials & tribulations, yet remains unbroken in his faith & dedication to the work of the Lord. Growing up, hero’s have always been portrayed as public figures & whenever asked who my hero was, I never had an answer. I would hear others around me throwing out names like Michael Jordan & Madonna & Tom Green (okay, not so much Tom). Seeing things from a different point of view now, I realize I have many hero’s. It’s no longer just a word to me & that feels really good.